Running in Circles

For a long time, I traveled through life focused on my “Rule of Thirds.” I believed that about 1/3 of my friends, family, and colleagues liked my life the way it was, that another 1/3 didn’t really have the time to care about my life, and that the final 1/3 did not like my life and choices, and they let me know it!

I concentrated my attention on the 1/3 who didn’t like my life and choices. I wondered what I did wrong and how I could fix it so they would like me and approve of my choices. I was obsessed with moving them into the category of friends and acquaintances who liked me. Well, when I changed things to get their approval, the rest of my friends voiced their disappointment or disapproval. I couldn’t win!

I found myself running in circles. My obsessive people-pleasing antics were like herding cats while wearing a blindfold. I flailed, frantically changing this and that about myself and my life, to receive approval. I was drained of energy with knots in my back. I got physically ill and became angry trying to please others and gain their approval.

I finally stopped and asked myself, “What is going on here? Why am I getting sick?” I realized that I disliked my own life, that the exhaustion of people-pleasing made me want another life. I continued the process by asking deeper questions of myself: “Why am I allowing others to decide who I am, what is best for me, and how I am to live my life? Why am I allowing others to write the script of my life?”

Self-awareness brought me home to myself. Things got quieter inside and I took back the pen. I’m now writing my own life story according to my values, choices, and inner guidance. I thank others for their suggestions, but I choose what is right for me, for I trust and listen to myself now. I am the Author of my life.

Who’s the Author of your life?

Autumn DeCosta is a Energy Leadership Master Practitioner and Life and Family Coach whose passion is working with individuals and families to successfully create fulfilling personal lives, while at the same time being fully engaged in family life. Autumn is also a Trainee in the IAW Facilitator-Coach Certification Program.

Autumn has 17 years military service, currently as an Executive Officer of Maintenance within the Air National Guard and her spouse is in the military. She works with military members and their families through the deployment cycle and helps them reintegrate into family life upon return. Visit her blog at: http://www.iamwonderwomom.com/iamwonderwomom-blog/

Rediscovering Myself

Like you, I am a woman who wears many hats and fill many roles in the course of a day. I am a woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, military officer (weekend warrior), full-time employee, and entrepreneur/business owner. My husband, Mike, is currently fulfilling a one-year deployment in Afghanistan and I’m playing single mom at the moment to three teenagers.

Juggling all these roles and responsibilities, I found myself recently looking in the mirror and wondering who’s looking back at me? I was lost in a state of to do lists, chores, obligations, and being there for everyone else according to their needs. I forgot one important item on the to do list. Taking care of Autumn, her body, mind, and spirit.

Then one day I found “Imagine a Woman.” What a life changing experience. Guess what I discovered?! Autumn! What a great discovery! Here I am…in my WOWness with a full cup! I’m loving myself, taking care of my body and spirit, and participating fully in life’s experiences. When I show up WHOLE, the people I love and work with enjoy me so much more, and I enjoy life and work all the more too.

I offer visualization from my acquired teachings. Feel free to use it and adjust it to fit your life.
• When I go to bed at night I visualize a miracle happening while I am sleeping.
• When I wake up I know that everything is just as it should be.
• When I wake up, I know that I am just as I should be.
• I now look in mirror and admire my beautiful shapes.
• I now trust how I handle situations with my children.
• I now feel confident at work in any situation, I trust my decisions.
• I now trust and respect the woman I am.

When you go to sleep tonight what will your miracle be?

Autumn is a Energy Leadership Master Practitioner and Life and Family Coach whose passion is working with individuals and their families to successfully create their own fulfilling personal life, while at the same time being fully engaged in their family life. Autumn is also a Trainee in the IAW Facilitator-Coach Certification Program.

Autumn has 17 years military service, currently as an Executive Officer of Maintenance within the Air National Guard and her spouse is in the military. She works with military members and their families through the deployment cycle and helps them reintegrate back into family life upon return. Visit her blog at: http://www.iamwonderwomom.com/iamwonderwomom-blog/