My Way
While preparing to write for the Blog this week, I found myself reviewing my journal entries from past years and wondering how I would manage to write about this month’s theme “Author Your Own Life.”
Seeing what was written on those journal pages, it was clear I did not feel in control of what was happening in my life. It was 1996 and my husband was in the hospital dying before my eyes. A thread of desperation and “what’s happening here” ran through the words written there.
I wrote all about the recommendations of the Docs, my husband’s parents, our friends, all of the “you shoulds” and “you musts.” I ran into the occasional poem and humorous anecdote that shifted the thread into a clearly assertive decision which was out of the ordinary and….yes, original and full of what felt right for me, and for us.
My husband and I had many discussions about how this time might come and how others may not understand his choice. The beauty of the situation was that this man who had been in my life for nearly 30 years had always authored his own life. He was not a people pleaser. He was a truly authentic person who irritated the heck out me with his refusal to surrender to peer pressure and societal norms.
This was my opportunity to release the “you shoulds” and “you musts” and to assist him to exit this life as he had lived it. So….I helped him break out of the hospital and return home where he could die in peace.
From that day forward I have been aware of actively participating in my life. I have been acquiring the ability to yield gracefully, move non-linearly, plan less, and go with a natural flow that feels right for me. When I feel confused or pressured to conform to an idea, when it does not feel right for me, I think of that period in my life and sit back and look at my options. I tell myself “You are the center of your universe which is ever expanding with no boundaries. Tap into your infinite power.” And then I take the steps that are right for me. After all, when I leave this life I want to know I lived it my way.
Patricia O’Neill Gleason is the owner of Patricia’s Transitions, a wellness shoppe in Hilo, Hawaii, where she provides private consultations and educational workshops. Since 2003 she has studied Australian Bush, Hawaiian, and North American Essence properties and believes strongly in their healing gifts. Patricia shares Nature’s amazing wonders (the “power of flowers”) and many other Vibrational Therapy Tools for optimal Balance and Wellness with her clients and customers.
In Patricia’s practice, she also uses the skills acquired over the past 60 years as wife, mother, widow, and most recently single parent raising a 16 year old girl who’s own Mother passed away from cancer. Patricia is a lover of the “Imagine a Woman” poem and is currently in IAW’s Certification Training Program. Visit her website at www.patriciastransitions.net.
Thank you, Patricia.
This is powerful and a gift to us all from you and your husband!
His spirit seems to push me along at times.
Mahalo for the opportunity to share.
Thank you Patricia for this touching insight on authoring your life and releasing the “you shoulds” and “you musts”… I too, want to know, when I leave this life I lived it my way, without peer pressure.
Fortunately we have each other for the reminder.
Mahalo
Thanks for everything Patricia! I love you and all the guidance you’ve given me.
Joy, it is such a pleasure to watch you as you pick up the pen for your own journey.
Beautiful as always Patricia. Thanks for putting it so simply…
Many thanks to you as well for your lovely writings
Thanks for reminding me, Patricia, that my own unique way is A-okay! That tree in your photo looks quite familiar : )).
Ah yes, it is a pleasure to have you in my chapters and your amazing can do adventures, sky diving, water skiing etc……you inspire many
Malana Ashlie
Loved your post…joined the group…however, it won’t allow me to post a comment.. ‘because I’m out of country? because they’re honoring Obama’s old embargo?’ Whatever!! But here’s what I wrote:”
A clear and meaningful message shared in yo…ur own beautiful style. It takes so little effort to slide into the comfort of the majority; possibly the true “opium of the masses”.
Thank you Malana,
Yes, so easy to slip into those grooves…a constant caution
Patricia
What a beautiful lesson to share with us. Thank you so much for the inspiration!
Very beautiful, Patricia!
Carole, thank you for being there during that period.
Thank you for sharing that experience with us. What a great example your husband set for not giving in to the peer pressure and living the life as he chose to write it.
As I have mentioned in the previous blog that I have spent most of my life being consumed with people pleasing and not being true to myself. Then feeling bad about myself because I was not enough to please others. It was an insane little game I have been playing with myself, them to blame others for making me feel that way when I was the one trying to please others. What?
Your husband is an inspiration for me to do it my way, if people get irritated that is their choice, if I do not fit into the social norm that is my choice.
Hmmmm…. I am going to start salsa dancing and go sky diving.
I am going to do something I have always wanted to do… I am going to go sky diving.
Good for you Autumn, as I say in my writing “I am acquiring the ability”
Practice, practice, practice……
Thank you for all your inspiration over the years, your generousity of unconditional love to me and especially your vision and guidance with my personal realtionships in the past month as well as your feminie insights to help me to grow spirituall and come to undersatnd my wife and her quest forv freedom